I Feel Good!

I just had an incredible experience as a health educator. It was the type of experience where you realize you may have changed a person's life, and it fits into the mantra of considering yourself (or your program) successful even if it only makes a difference to a single person. I was involved in a program addressing sexual assault, formatted as an interactive talk show. In my role as the host, I introduced the panelists (role playing the alleged victim, alleged perpetrator, therapist, and friends) and directed questions and comments from the audience to the appropriate panel members. Straight out of the gates, the audience members had LOTS of comments and questions, but most of them were targeted towards the victim character. Why had she done this? Why didn't she do that? What was she expecting to happen? Towards the end, though, the tenor of the group began to change as our panelists stepped out of their roles and described their thoughts and emotions while playing their characters. One of the members was even applauded when he commented on the importance of having consent and on the right of a person to say no at any time.

After the program, a student in the audience approached me and asked what he could do to make sure he never wound up in a situation like the one presented in the talk show skit. Looking in his eyes, I felt like he was realizing he might have unintentionally assaulted someone in the past or that he might easily find himself in that situation if he didn't make changes in his dating life. I encouraged him to openly communicate with his partner about what he wanted in a relationship and to make sure he clearly understood what she wanted in the relationship. I don't mean he has to get her to sign an informed consent document for sex, but he can certainly find out if she's enjoying herself and if she would like to try other things physically. I also wanted him to understand that just because a person submits to something, it doesn't mean he or she is actually wanting that thing to happen. We all have instances in our lives, outside of the realm of sexual activity, where we go along with things we don't want to do simply because it's easier than dealing with a confrontation. Likewise, just because a person doesn't physically resist a sexual encounter, it doesn't mean they want it to happen.

I challenge anyone reading this post to consider their own attitudes towards relationships and consent and to think, like this young man did, about what you can do to make sure that all your relationships are consensual and respectful of both parties.

You Never Know What (or who) You're Gonna Get

Last night, I had scheduled two after-hours programs. One of them was a request from a sorority for a sex education game and the other was for an alcohol education program related to the Real World for a residence hall. I always like to contact the person who requested the program on the day of the program just to make sure nothing has changed and I'm still on the agenda for the night. I was, therefore, pleased to get an email from the requesting sorority saying they were expecting me and had a lot of people buzzing about the event. So how many people showed up? 3. That's right. One, two, three. Don't get me wrong, the three who came were a great audience, and we had a lot of fun. However, it was slightly frustrating to me to think that I'd given up an hour of my time off the clock to do a program for three people. These instances are the times to remind myself that if I reach one person, that is a success story.

On the flip side, the residence hall program was very well attended. I had just presented to this same floor last week, so it was encouraging to see many of the same faces. The hall director told me that she thought many of the girls had "fallen in love" with me after the program last week and were excited to have me present again.

Comments like that make my day and make up for the fact that other programs might not have the attendance I'd like to see.